First off, Happy Labor Day holiday weekend to all my American friends and family. A very special congratulations to former ship-mate and dancer L., who had a very literal Labor Day experience, giving birth to her fourth child (baby girl) this weekend.
Secondly, any Holland American Line friends will recognize this photo. Yep, those carpets help us all out, especially when you are not on a repetitive 7-day run. We have just completed two 7-day cruises and are now on a 12-day cruise, which is more typical for Oosterdam’s Mediterranean season. I once saw the closet where the carpets were stored, and I have to say, it was like the curtain for the great and powerful Oz had been pulled. Thankfully, I have forgotten where that closet is, and I just enjoy the magical daily reminder of the day of the week.
In reflection, this week there have been several seemingly disparate threads. Stick with me here…
From a seminar on caring for aging parents: As we age, we may lose things that were part our autonomy and that the realization (or denial of such) can bring on many different emotions, actions and reactions. How do we compassionately assist?
From the press: A recent, controversial NY Times opinion piece about tourism bringing out the worst in people.
From Cruise Director training years ago: A Guest Relations Manager’s advice: You do what you can to give the guests the best experience, but some guests will never be happy.
Overheard in port in reference to our tour group: (In a disparaging tone)“They are with Holland America. Follow the leader, leader…”
From my memories of being a show deputy for Actors Equity Association: You are the liaison between the theater company and the union actors, ensuring union standards are being met and kept.
From social media: a friend’s post about how her mom always saw the best in people.
From a podcast: “We can sit down on the inside even when there is a lot to do.” (Emily P. Freeman podcast #62)
From a dietitian coaching: Sometimes mediocre is ok, if that is the best you can do at that time.
As a crew member, sometimes you are asked about funny or unusual things you see on ships.
Years ago, my friend G. and I both escorted a tour to the butterfly farm in Costa Rica (each on our own bus). Over dinner, he and I exchanged stories about our tours.
It was a longer bus ride from the port to the butterfly farm, and there was a gentleman on my bus who was very nervous that he would have to go too long without eating. The gentleman had brought fruit from the ship to eat in the bus, and he also convinced the guide and bus driver to make an unscheduled stop on the way to the farm so he could get something to eat. When we got to the butterfly farm, we were split into two smaller groups and the gentleman was not in my group, so I didn’t think too much about it. The butterfly farm was in the jungle and had steep paths. After seeing the farm, we had lunch and some free (aka shopping) time before boarding the bus back to the ship. As we were getting on the bus, we could not find the gentleman. Eventually we found him eating lunch. The gentleman joined our bus and we headed back to ship.
At dinner, G. tells me about a challenging guest on his tour. His bus group had arrived at the butterfly farm about 20 minutes after ours and was also split into two. The restaurant on site had had a man from the other (my) bus who wanted to eat lunch first, so could they add him into G.’s group? The gentleman did not do well with the heat, humidity, the incline of the farm and G. ended up assisting this man for most of the tour. Then G’s bus group had their lunch, including the gentleman that G. had acquired. G. and I pieced together that the gentleman was one and the same and had eaten two lunches that day.
Participating in an organized tour or visiting a port on your own (independently): this is often the great divide between guests, and usually one camp does not see themselves in the other camp.
I sit in the middle. Some places are trickier to get to on my own or going with a tour offers good value and the benefit of a knowledgeable guide. But tours are structured activities, and sometimes I need or want a bit more flexibility. And tours also mean spending your day in the company of others, and sometimes I want to be on my own.
When on an organized tour, one has elected to be part of that tour’s community for the day. Presumably you've read the tour description and have a general idea of the day’s itinerary, refreshments, level of difficulty/activity, etc. Hopefully the surprises are minimal (e.g. the tour is more strenuous or there is more walking than you anticipated.) Hopefully you have an awareness of your ability levels. You do not have control over the fellow guests in your community for the day and their expectations, mobility, etc. I think about adjusting to degrees of autonomy and acceptance, denial, and all in between.
Cruise lines often have crew escort tours when possible. They are extra eyes and ears for the cruise line and can provide feedback to the Shore Excursions team about the tours. It is also a nice opportunity for crew to get to some sights they might not have the chance to get to on their own.
When you go on tour as an escort, you assist the guide by helping counting heads and being towards the back of the group to help keep the group together. You also help the guests by letting the guide know things such as the temperature on the bus is too hot, guests can’t hear, guests need a bathroom break, the guide is walking/speaking too fast, etc. You do not have control over the tour itinerary.
I am not a fan of listening to other people’s cell phone conversations, music or videos…I was a little surprised when a guest in the row in front of me told me she had to make a phone call and did I mind and would I still be able to hear the guide? Before we really settled this, her phone rang and she took the call. In fairness, she kept the conversation very quiet (I could not hear her) and apologized again afterwards.
After our first stop, as we were getting on the bus, a different guest took the seat ahead of me as someone had taken her seat. It is an unspoken “rule” of tours is that if someone’s stuff is on the seat, you do not take that seat when you get back on the bus. She spoke to me about her stuff, about the timing of the tour and a few other grumbles.
It took me back to Actors Equity deputy days, when fellow actors would talk to you about grievances. Sometimes it seemed overwhelming, until I learned to ask a magic question - “Is this something you would like me to do something about, or did you just need to vent about it?” More often than not, the actor would pause, reflect and say they just needed to vent. Problem solved - no further action needed on my part and the actor felt heard.
It also took me back to Cruise Director days, with the pressure to either soothe, solve or refer/defer to someone who could. None of the guest's grumbles were anything I could really do something about. I ended up eating lunch with her a bit later on, and she seemed a bit more chipper, so I suspect that she, too, just needed to vent a bit. I was glad that she didn’t seem to be one of those people who just like to be unhappy.
After getting on the bus after the last stop, I now had two seatmates at the back of the bus - no problem. I think though, this is the first time I have ever seen anyone do teeth whitening strips on a tour bus.
So, did we have a chuckle about the gentleman who ate his way through the tour (being aware of jokes about how much food people eat on cruises)? And did I chuckle a little at the teeth whitening? Yes.
Do I think that tourism brings out the worst in people? No, not really. I think that who you are shows up where ever you are. And who you are includes all of you, such as how we react to stressful or unfamiliar situations (which may or may not be us as our best). Travel can test you.
But at the end of the day, as discussed in a previous post, I don’t know what someone's reality or journey is. Thank you, M.E.'s mom, for the reminder to see the best in people, even if in hindsight.
This past week I was able to get the last of the big research that I have wanted to do for my upcoming presentations. For my remaining time onboard, any additional research is extra gravy for the future. But I have put a lot of pressure on myself. So, like in some recent weeks, I have let some of my fitness goals slip. Hence, sometimes mediocre is ok. But, also, I have taken the time to pick up my sewing a bit. Sewing is my happy place. I find it centering and a chance to relax. My sewing, connecting these threads, has been my relaxing, my chance to catch my breath, my sitting down on the inside.
Wellness Round Up
Nutrition has been mixed; I am still not eating the amount of veggies that I would like. Baklava? No problem. We have had some nice meals ashore in Piraeus & Istanbul. See my restaurant recommendations.
Hydration & sleep have both still been pretty solid.
Stress has been mixed, but again. taking steps to relax.
Movement - 2 runs and a core pilates workout, and still plenty of steps taken each day. This has required some regular old sitting on the “outside.” Not exactly where I would like to be, but every little bit adds up, so I hear. Progress, not perfection.
A final image for the week - early morning dry storms in Piraeus.
Until next week, Bon Voyage & Bon Appétit!
Updated August 25, 2024
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